I am worried about a member. I am pretty sure this member is using and it just kills me that this is happening. The person first developed an attitude of better-than, moved away, got away from meetings and support network. Isolation along with an extended serious injury that required medication has created a state of mind that is susceptible to the disease and it's constant vigilance to find a weak spot in our defenses.
We are only as sober as our spiritual condition allows. What have I done today to take care of my sobriety? Have I prayed? Have I gone to a meeting? Reached out to another alcoholic? Do I work the steps in my daily life. Am I convinced that I am powerless and that my life is unmanageable if I pick up a drink or drug. Prescription drugs are dangerous. They are legal, just like alcohol, and should be taken only if needed and in the way prescribed by our physician.
However, in my case, I do not always need the kind of drugs my doctor has wanted to prescribe for me. I once cut the tips of 3 fingers off with a hedge trimmer. (Not on purpose, mind you) I was trying to save some flowers and made an unsafe move.
Was I upset at the sight of my own blood? No.
Was I scared for my health and well being? No.
On my way in to the house to call 911, I was thinking what great meds the doctor would prescribe for me because the injury would call for that.
So, when I left the hospital with my script, I got scared. I called my sober friend to come and get me and help me to manage my script. Because I did not trust my own thinking with that medication in my hands or in my house. Within 2 days, my real need for the medication was over and my friend and I flushed away the rest. Motrin would be all I needed for the rest of my recovery from that injury.
I am not judging our member, I am only stating that this could be me. By the grace of God, it is not. But, who am I to think that I have "got this" now that I have 20 years clean and sober. I HAVE NOT BEATEN THIS DISEASE! I have merely been graced with a daily reprieve from the seemingly hopeless state of mind and body. And I am grateful to have been given a second chance of life. I must act on that gratitude by taking care of my sobriety. I have the tools, it is up to me to use them...
May God bless our member who is in trouble. The Fellowship will be here when that person is ready to come back. And just as they say in A.A.: "For that, I am responsible"
Patti G.
